Erotic massage often involves a bodyworker touching and sexually stimulating a passive receiver. This is not the case in the somatic sex education practice known as Erotic Massage Dancing, where the receiver enthusiastically participates in the erotic massage by breathing, moving, moaning, self-touching and guiding the erotic bodyworker. For this reason, Erotic Massage Dancing is sometimes called Active Receiving.
Structure of the Learning for Erotic Massage Dancing
Introduction to EMD
o Confronting Sexual Arousal Habits
o Sexual Arousal Management Skills
Preparations Before Engaging in EMD
o EBodyworker—Improve Your Erotic Touch Skills
o Educate the Dancer
Somatic Exercise #1: The Dance between Arousal and Breath
o Introduction to the Dance,
o Recordings and Teaching about Three Styles of Breathing,
o Avoiding Tetany
o The Practice Session
Somatic Exercise #2: The Dance of Arousal, Breath and Movement
o Introduction to the Dance
o The Practice
o Move Your Pelvis Like Elvis
Video Demonstrations of EMD
o Involved Receiving
o Anastasia Becomes Her Orgasm
o Hard Cock Dancing
o Erotic Iceman
Introduction
Erotic Massage Dancing (EMD) is a method for improving sexual arousal management, the foundational somatic skill of good sex. Learning ways to play with sexual arousal is best explored and fine-tuned in an aroused state. Erotic massage sessions offer an optimal setting for this sexual arousal education. Of course, the learning is not limited to future erotic massage situations. EMD offers practices for managing sexual arousal in all libidinous situations (intercourse, oral sex, solo sex, etc.) EMD also supports us in awakening the heart-genital connection, allowing deeper relationships with our partners, with ourselves, with other people, and with the whole planet as a living entity.
While being stimulated by a skilled erotic bodyworker (EBodyworker), the receiver (“the Dancer”) brings awareness to their sexual arousal through breathing rhythms, simple body movements, sounds and self-touch. This practice of playing more mindfully with sexual arousal allows the Dancer to liberate themselves from limiting sexual habits while focusing on their feelings of aliveness. EMD demands trust and constant communication between the EBodyworker and the Dancer as they discern together the mindful practices which best address the Dancer’s stated needs.
Learning arousal management skills is an on-going process. For many, it is a life-long process. In each new session, the EBodyworker can summarize the process from past sessions and ask the Dancer to speak about their learning and desires for the session. At the end of each session, the EBodyworker might recommend appropriate homework for the Dancer (and their partner) and propose possible directions to be explored in their next meeting. With ongoing guidance and support from the EBodyworker, the Dancer discovers erotic places within their body they haven’t been before and erotic feelings they haven’t felt before.
Confronting Sexual Arousal Habits
Managing sexual arousal involves learning new sexual skills while letting go of limiting sexual arousal habits, often picked up during childhood and adolescence. Like clockwork, these habits produce stress and tensions throughout the body during sexual arousal. Some of the most common arousal habits involve shallow or constricted breathing, limited body movement, squeezing of thighs, mechanical rubbing of the genitals, stifling of sound, and going away from the body into fantasy or thinking. Although these habits were originally acquired in the pursuit of orgasm, now they severely limit our potential for pleasure. These arousal patterns can inhibit playful and open-hearted sex with our partners and with ourselves. Habitual sex is most often experienced as boring sex.
Our motivational “sex drive” often triggers a mindless pursuit of orgasm/release. This “wanting” or craving of orgasm/release is a dopamine-driven neurological process that gives rise and endurance to all our other sexual habits. How you touch your genitals, how you breathe during sex, how you squeeze toward orgasm, all of these habits are governed by the “wanting” of orgasm. EMD offers effective ways to disrupt and escape this powerful “wanting orgasm” mode. The Dancer often finds it useful to commit to avoiding orgasm/release altogether within EMD sessions. (Brief explanation of “wanting orgasm” by Joseph Kramer.)
Sexual Arousal Management Skills
Sexual arousal is usually experienced as a spectrum, from no arousal to orgasm, with little attention to the levels of arousal before orgasm. It’s helpful for individuals to notice and name their levels of sexual arousal on a scale of one to five. Each of the first four levels can be maintained and enjoyed for a prolonged period of time. Level one involves the first stirrings of arousal in the genitals, while level five is orgasm or release. Level two describes a low state of arousal, level three describes significant arousal and level four represents a high state of arousal. The practices and strategies for managing sexual arousal can be used with any of these levels of arousal.
In EMD, one learns sexual arousal management by engaging touch, breathing and movements to increase sexual arousal or decrease sexual arousal. The increase of sexual arousal, which involves an increase in neural firing, is sometimes called up-regulation. Down-regulation names the calming of sexual arousal and a decrease in neural firing.
The EBodyworker stimulates arousal through genital touch. The speed and pressure of erectile tissue stimulation increases or decreases the Dancer’s arousal. Faster touch can increase or decrease arousal. Slower touch can increase or decrease arousal. The Dancer needs to be constantly aware of the rise and fall of sexual arousal within their body, so they can manage their arousal. The Dancer guides how they are touched. The Dancer can also breathe and move faster or slower to upregulate arousal or to downregulate arousal.
Because learning to manage sexual arousal needs to take place in a sexually aroused body, the Dancer cannot lose connection with their arousal. If breathing a certain pace or moving a certain way takes the Dancer away from their arousal, the Dancer can adjust or change that way of breathing or moving in order to come back into contact with their arousal.
As we begin this mindful erotic practice, it is important to recognize there are many ways that sexual arousal has been managed in our lives. Marriage, religion and therapy are some of the institutions that both support sexual arousal with wise guidance and inhibit sexual arousal through shame and guilt. Products such as porn, drugs and alcohol also upregulate and downregulate our arousal. We are often unconscious of how much these institutions and products influence our sexual arousal. The good news is that erotic mindfulness practices, while quite pleasurable, can also be effective at interrupting the physiological results of unwanted conditioning of our sexual arousal.
EMD focuses on teaching erotic bodyworkers and interested individuals about physiological processes and strategies for managing sexual arousal. The psychological and medical dimensions of sexual arousal management are left for other professional trainings.
Erotic Massage Dancing is based on the reality that practice-based behavior change is a slow process. For some individuals, practicing sexual arousal management is a life-long commitment. This somatic inquiry offers useful instruction in managing sexual arousal with three types of erotic practices. For optimum learning, students of Erotic Massage Dancing should commit to engaging each of these three dances in both the role EBodywork and the role of Dancer.
Preparations Before Engaging EMD
Improving Your Erotic Touch Skills. The more skilled the EBodyworker is with erotic touch, the better the experience will be for the Dancer. EroticMassage.com and OrgasmicYoga.com offer nuanced touch demonstrations from master teachers that are best learned using the five-minute play segments structure from Practice #1: The Dance of Arousal and Breath(below). This structure helps individuals, even those without a background in massage, to more quickly learn basic skills necessary for giving erotic massage. This repetition of each genital stroke is inspired by a practice developed by Mareen Scholl, teacher of Sexological Bodywork in Berlin. Be sure to install your learning after each five-minute play segment. EBodyworkers can also constantly improve their genital massage skills with help from lovers, friends, colleagues, and teachers.
Important video recommendations from earlier in the course: Fire on the Mountain – Male Genital Massage, Fire in the Valley – Female Genital Massage, Anal Massage on a Man, Anal Massage on a Woman, Rainbow Practices.
Preparing the Dancer for EMD. Get to know the Dancer and allow the Dancer to get to know you by giving them several erotic massages. It will be helpful to learn how the Dancer likes to be touched and the sensitivity of their genitals. Practice circular breathing and triple-inhale breathing at different speeds with the Dancer. The best “intake” of the Dancer is to have them show you how they masturbate. By allowing you to witness them as they masturbate, they are actually showing you their arousal habits. Witness carefully without judgment, but take notes.
The Dance of Sexual Arousal and Breath
Practicing breathing patterns with sexual arousal is an effective way for the Dancer to begin EMD explorations. Most EMD sessions will involve one or more of the following breathing styles: circular breathing, triple-inhale (or double-inhale) breathing, and Resonance Frequency Breathing. Each of these breathing patterns can be practiced at different speeds. Guiding the Dancer’s pace with your own breathing allows for more fluidity in the session. You can also breathe together using paced breathing recordings. Invite the Dancer to share with you any additional ways of breathing they may wish to use while practicing EMD.
The recommendation for all breathing patterns is to inhale through the nose and exhale either through the nose or the mouth. The Dancer can inhale through the mouth if that feels better for them or if their nose is congested. Most of the effort in breathing should take place on the inhale with relaxation on the exhale. Help the Dancer more fully experience the rhythm of their breathing by recommending they rest one hand on their belly and move the other hand in rhythm with their breathing. We recommend not standing when practicing fast breathing which has the potential to cause a loss of balance. This means the EBodyworker should limit their fast breathing, especially if they feel any disorientation.
Both the Dancer and the EBodyworker can become more comfortable with specific breathing patterns and speeds by practicing them as homework. There are several hundred paced-breathing videos on Youtube. The Dancer or the EBodyworker can breathe at the recording’s given pace or they can speed up or slow down the recording by clicking on the settings wheel and choosing a new playback speed. Below are recommended breathing exercises for the Dancer to practice at home and to practice in person with the EBodyworker.
Three Recommended Breathing Styles
Circular Breathing
In circular breathing (sometimes called the Rebirthing Breath or connected breathing), there is no pause at the top or the bottom of the breath. Fast circular breathing integrates well with various levels of sexual arousal. This breath can be used at many speeds, from very slow to very fast. A fast circular breath is often used to interrupt a Dancer’s habits of going off into erotic fantasy or self-judgment.
Circular Breathing Recording: Breath Pacer
The Breath Pacer is a metronome for breathers. It is useful in teaching many styles of breathing. Practice with the Breath Pacer on 1 for inhale and 1 for exhale for 3-5 minutes. EMD is about connecting your breathing rhythm with your sexual arousal. Pay special attention to the rhythm of this circular breathing within your body. Try this again with the breath pacer on 2 for the inhale and 2 for the exhale. (For breathing at 5 or 6 on the inhale and exhale, see Resonance Frequency Breathing below.)
Circular Breathing Recording: Alkaline Breathing
You can use this tape for practicing circular breathing at different speeds. Be sure to pay attention to how your body sensations change at different breathing speeds. Get comfortable breathing at the “normal” speed and then notice your body sensations at .75 speed and again at .50 speed. This breathing recording loops, meaning there is no end point. You choose how long you want to practice this breath. (We recommend ignoring the visuals).
Circular Breathing Recording: Wim Hof Breathing
With this video, Wim Hof has guided more than 60 million people in three rounds of breathing. Each round starts with 30 circular breaths followed by a holding with empty lungs and then a holding with full lungs. The whole practice is interesting but you can use this recording just to practice along with Hof’s circular breathing (at normal speed and at .75). There are more than 50 Wim Hof recordings on Youtube where the rounds start with 30 or more circular breaths.
Triple-Inhale Breathing
The inhale of triple-inhale breathing has three segments separated by pauses. Inhale through the nose, pause, more inhale, pause, more inhale, then exhale through the nose or the mouth. The triple-inhale helps you fill your lungs to more than 90% capacity. Some people experience the same benefit from double-inhale breathing.
Triple-Inhale Breathing Recording: Triple-Inhale Breathing
We suggest you make adjustments to this recording. On the settings wheel, choose a playback speed of 0.75. Begin breathing at the 2:07 minute mark. Don’t follow the breathing instructions on the screen. Take three inhales on the first three beats and exhale on the last beat.
You can also practice double-inhale breathing with this same tape and same settings by following the breathing prompts on the screen. Remember you can change the playback speeds to explore breathing at slower and faster speeds. Find out what speeds feel best for your body.
Resonance Frequency Breathing
Humans normally breathe between twelve and twenty breaths per minute. Resonance Frequency Breathing is much slower—about 5.5 breaths per minute. This breath is sometimes called Resonance Breathing, Coherent Breathing, or HRV Breathing. James Nester, in his groundbreaking book Breath: A New Science of a Lost Art, claims that breathing at Resonance Frequency is perhaps the healthiest pace we humans can breathe. He ends his entertaining research on a dozen popular breathing techniques with this bold statement:
For all my travels and travails there is one lesson, one equation that I feel is at the root of so much health, happiness and longevity…The perfect breath is this: breathe in for about 5.5 seconds, then exhale for 5.5 seconds. That’s 5.5 breaths a minute, for a total of about 5.5 liters of air. (p.212)
Resonance Frequency Breathing gets its name because it brings into resonance our respiratory system, the rhythm of our heart beat, our circulatory system and the sympathetic and parasympathetic/vagal branches of our nervous system. This breathing at 5.5 breaths per minute helps all of these systems to function more efficiently and synergistically, promoting an incredible integration within our body. By breathing this pace while practicing Erotic Massage Dancing, we are integrating our sexual arousal into all of these systems as they pulsate together with aliveness.
Resonance Frequency Breathing (20-minute audio)
Resonance Frequency Breathing (10-minute audio)
Resonance Frequency Breathing (5-minute audio)
These music recordings which go up the scale for eight counts (inhale) and down for eight counts (exhale) are helpful for individuals learning the resonance rhythm. The Dancer or the EBodyworker can breathe at the recording’s given pace or they can speed up or slow down the recording by clicking on the settings wheel on the far right of the Dropbox control panel and choosing a new playback speed. These recordings, made available to promote public well-being by Kaiser Hospital in San Diego, can be downloaded to your phone where you can also adjust the speed. Here is a 4.5 breaths per minute version of the same Kaiser recording on Youtube. You can also practice Resonance Frequency Breathing using the Breath Pacer with a 5 or a 6 for the inhale and a 5 or a 6 for the exhale.
Resonance Frequency Breathing at normal and double speed is especially recommended for the Be-Bodied practice in The Dance of Arousal, Breath and Movement section below.
Beyond EMD. Ten minutes of Resonance Frequency Breathing can be miraculous for calming distress and anxiety. Joseph Kramer begins every Zoom class and every private teaching session he does with five minutes of Resonance Frequency Breathing. “This breath brings us to a calm yet alert state.” You will find guidelines for practicing Resonance Frequency Breathing and using it with clients along with additional recommended audio and video recordings here.
Avoiding Tetany
Perhaps the most important guidance for erotic massage breathing is “relax on the exhale.” Pushing the exhale causes you to breathe out too much carbon dioxide. Your blood becomes more alkaline, which can cause tetany. This condition often feels like you are being paralyzed, especially around the mouth and in the wrists and hands. If the Dancer starts to feel uncomfortable sensations in their lips from breathing, they can make a long sound on the exhale of each breath. It is difficult to force the exhale while making a long sound. If their wrists begin to cramp, the Dancer can place their hands flat underneath their hips.
Some forms of fast-paced breathing, like holotropic breathing, make use of tetany. Avoid tetany because it usually takes the breather out of their learning zone, out of their window-of-tolerance, even triggering fight-or-flight states. The intention of the breathwork in Erotic Massage Dancing is not to overwhelm the nervous system.
Somatic Exercise 8-1: The Dance of Arousal and Breath
Beginning Touch. In this practice session, the EBodyworker invites the Dancer to focus their attention on two realms: 1) the sensations arising from their genitals being stimulated and 2) the sensations arising from paced breathing. After the EBodyworker and the Dancer state their intentions for the session, the EBodyworker connects with the Dancer by offering ten or twenty minutes of non-genital touch accompanied by paced breathing. The EBodyworker might have the Dancer practice giving touch guidance during this segment.
Five-Minute Play Segments. The practice then continues with a series of five-minute play segments involving mindful genital touching accompanied by paced breathing. The intention is for the Dancer to connect their breathing with the sensations generated by the EBodyworker’s caressing. Each five-minute segment involves the repetition of one genital touch with as little variation as possible, accompanied by a breathing rhythm chosen by the EBodyworker or Dancer.
After each five minutes of stimulation, the EBodyworker pauses their touching for one minute, resting their hands quietly on the genitals or removing their hands (whichever the Dancer prefers). The Dancer uses this pause to scan their body, noticing sensations and feelings activated by the touch and breathing. This pause and body scan installs the experience into the receiver’s nervous system, creating new neural pathways. The installation can also be described as allowing the touching and breathing experience to move from short term memory to long term memory. This process is called learning.
Many EBodyworkers begin the first five-minute play segment by gently placing their hands on the Dancer’s genitals and feeling without moving. The Dancer is invited into some slow breathing and noticing any subtle awakening of their erotic capacity.
For the next five to eight play segments, the EBodyworker slowly repeats one genital stroke over and over while both the EBodyworker and the Dancer breathe in rhythm with the touch. Each five minutes may have a different breathing rhythm or the Dancer may choose to breathe one pace for all segments. Some of the genital strokes can be chosen by the EBodyworker, some by the Dancer. The EBodyworker might check in with the Dancer from time to time, asking, “What would make this even better?” or “What are you noticing?”
If the breathing during a play segment is slow, as in Resonance Frequency Breathing, three or more stroke repetitions may accompany each breath. Fast Circular Breathing or Triple-Inhale Breathing might involve two breaths during one stroke. The Dancer should find a comfortable rhythm to accompany the stroking.
The variations in touch and breath create a mini-dance with arousal in each play segment. The Dancer can play with their arousal levels, either upregulating or downregulating, with the pace of their breathing and with their guiding of the speed and pressure of the EBodyworker’s touch.
Ending the Dance. The Dancer can request that the final play segment be more stimulating and perhaps longer (10 minutes?) For a minute at the end of that play session, the EBodyworker might squeeze the head of the penis or the clitoris through the clitoral hood. At the end of the minute, the EBodyworker slowly releases the squeeze and stops touching. The Dancer has a few minutes of noticing and savoring their body sensations. This installs the learning. EMD sessions can also end with a Big Draw (described in the Taoist Erotic Massage section).
Alternative Position for the EBodyworker. EMD is usually done with the Dancer on a massage table being touched by the EBodyworker, who is standing. A very popular variation of this, developed in Brazil, has the EBodyworker seated on the table between the Dancer’s legs, which are draped over the EBodyworker’s legs. This position is less stressful on the EBodyworker and gives direct access to the Dancer’s genitals.
Alternative Position for the Dancer. An alternative position for the Dancer involves a chair on the massage table. The Dancer’s calves and feet are on the seat of the chair with the Dancer’s knees and hips at 90 degree angles. This position facilitates diaphragmatic breathing where the inhale can be felt as a push through the abdominal and pelvic cavities all the way to the anal sphincters and genitals. This legs-on-chair position allows the Dancer to explore and integrate the movement of sexual arousal within the abdominal and pelvic areas. It is also useful if the Dancer wishes to integrate sexual arousal into the anal area.
Exercise and Report: Teach The Dance of Arousal and Breath to two different people with different genital configurations. Begin each session by inviting the Dancer to state their intentions. During each play session, suggest the Dancer practice circular breathing and triple-inhale breathing at various speeds. The Dancer might have their own favorite breath to include in this practice. Move and breathe in rhythm with the Dancer. Ask the Dancer for their guidance as you stimulate their genitals. If possible, experience this practice twice in the role of the Dancer. Write 300 words on your experience with this sexual arousal management practice.
The Dance of Arousal, Breath and Movement
After a few sessions of dancing with arousal and breath, the Dancer becomes quite comfortable noticing and savoring the sensations of their aliveness. At this point, the EBodyworker might suggest incorporating movement into their dance.
Movement facilitates the circulation and integration of sexual arousal throughout the whole body. Practicing Erotic Massage Dancing starts with the Dancer getting comfortable with one movement and one breath in their body. Over weeks and months of practice the dance sessions begin to incorporate more breathing, perhaps including moaning, and more movement, perhaps with self-touch.
Be-Bodied is a dance practice in which the undulation of the spine and diaphragmatic breathing together create movement throughout the inside of the torso, from the top of the lungs to the pelvic floor. Even more importantly, this practice helps awaken the heart-genital connection!
Somatic Exercise 8-2: The Dance of Arousal, Breath and Movement
The Dancer positions themself on the massage table, face-up with their feet flat on the table, comfortably apart. The EBodyworker and Dancer speak aloud their intentions for the session. The EBodyworker begins the session by reviewing with the Dancer the Be-Bodied practice accompanied by Resonance Frequency Breathing without genital stimulation. As the Dancer inhales a slow deep breath, they gently arch the small of their back. As they exhale, they press their back against the table, tilting their pelvis forward and up. The Dancer is encouraged to breathe at Resonance Frequency using this 5-minute recording (introduced in the breathing section). Slowly inhale and arch the back for 5.5 seconds as the music goes up; exhale and tilt the pelvis forward for 5.5 seconds as the music comes down. This Resonance Frequency Breathing recording will help the Dancer to synchronize their breath, movement and arousal more easily. The recording guides about 25 repetitions of Be-Bodied in five minutes, perfect for a play segment.
The EBodyworker might suggest the Dancer practice Be-Bodied with Resonance Frequency Breathing without sexual stimulation for one or more play segments. Then with the Dancer’s permission, the EBodyworker rests one hand on the center of the chest and the other hand cupping the Dancer’s genitals for five minutes as both breathe the 5.5 seconds of inhale and of exhale. After this time of quiet physical connection, the play sessions with breathing progress with a variety of repeated genital touches. After each play segment, the Dancer does a body scan and installs the experience into their long term memory for future use.
The EBodyworker should pay special attention to the area between the Dancer’s genitals and heart, stroking toward the heart on the inhale and toward the genitals on the exhale. The Dancer might also be invited to stroke their own torso toward the heart on the inhale and toward the genitals on the exhale. The Dancer might also tap or vibrate their heart area on the inhale and quiet their hands on the heart on the exhale. The Dancer might also imagine their genitals are being massaged within their heart. The touching from the EBodyworker should always be in rhythm with the Dancer’s moving and breathing.
When beginning a practice session, the Dancer might limit the intensity of the Be-Bodied movement. A quieter beginning allows the Dancer to pay more attention to the gradual integration of sexual arousal with breath and movement. When the Dancer feels connected with their arousal, the movements of Be-Bodied can become more expressive. For example, the tilting of the hips on the Be-Bodied exhale can become more of a lifting and stretching of the hips. The Dancer may also choose to practice Be-Bodied at double speed. As the Dancer learns to become more playful, caution them about the habit of increasing their movements and breath to push their arousal toward orgasm.
Exercise and Report. Teach Be-Bodied to two different people with different genital configurations. Begin each session by inviting the Dancer to state their intentions. Move and breathe in rhythm with the Dancer. Using the Resonance Frequency Breathing recording will support the Dancer’s tempo. Ask the Dancer for their guidance as you stimulate their genitals. If possible, experience Be-Bodied twice as the Dancer. Write 300 words on your experience with the Be-Bodied movement and Resonance Frequency Breathing.
Move Your Pelvis Like Elvis
In this 4-minute video, Tantra teacher Julia Tindall demonstrates a version of Be-Bodied while standing. She says this practice helps thaw frozen pelvises and moves sexual pleasure throughout the body. She emphasizes that this practice helps connect the genitals with the heart. Julia ends her video teaching by saying, “Keep practicing.”
The Be-Bodied practice is a wonderful preparation for intercourse between people of all sexual orientations and genders. This movement is crucial for achieving orgasm during intercourse, especially for women. Peer-reviewed researchers have compared clitoral self-stimulation during sexual intercourse to a version of the Be-Bodied movement during sexual intercourse and found that Be-Bodied movement was even more effective than clitoral self-stimulation for achieving orgasm.
Betty Dodson taught a variation of the Be-Bodied that she called RockAndRoll Orgasm: Betty writes: “Move your pelvis like Elvis. Roll your hips. Do a little dance lying down. As your hips rock forward and back, the muscles in your body flex and relax similar to an athlete in motion. Dance to the music of your choice with rhythmic pelvic thrusting along with deep breathing and sounds of pleasure. Remember sex is about having fun and feeling good. During your entire masturbation session, a gentle rocking motion can become perpetual motion.”
More Movements. Sexological Bodyworker Frans Trepels has been dancing his arousal for many years. In Dance Lessons for Integrating Arousal (5 minutes, Log in to EroticMassage.com, Free access thru the end of April 2023), he suggests eight somatic possibilities for students learning Erotic Massage Dancing:
Jiggle and rock your body on the massage table. Anchor your heels into the surface you are lying on and rock by pushing your toes away from your body (plantarflexing your feet). Frans does the jiggle differently, with his heels slightly off the mat. This full-body jiggle should be almost effortless. You can rock or jiggle in rhythm with your breathing. Highly recommended with sexual arousal.
Pelvic Rocking. This is Frans’ version of Be-Bodied.
Pelvic Bouncing. In rhythm with your breathing, bounce your pelvis into the mat. You might try moaning with the bouncing as Frans does. Intense Pelvic Bouncing is not recommended if you are on a massage table.
For people with a Yoga background, the Fire Breath in these positions moves the sexual arousal throughout the body. Many people find this breathing challenging.
Pelvic Muscle Clench. Play with moving your pelvic floor (squeezing/clenching or pushing down) in rhythm with your breathing. Find out what rhythms feel best when you are sexually aroused.
Twisting. With knees raised and feet flat on the table, move your knees side to side. This can also be done with feet raised off of the table.
Shaking and Kicking. This is a fast way to move sexual arousal around the body. Notice Frans’ variations – thrusting and circling the hands and feet.
Self-Touching. Unleash the creativity in your hands.
We invite you to experiment with these specific suggestions, but keep in mind there are limitless combinations of different breaths and movements, as well as sounds and self-touch, that may be useful in expanding your erotic experience.
Somatic Creativity During Erotic Massage (four video demonstrations)
Involved Receiving (4 minutes, Log in to EroticMassage.com, Free access thru the end of April 2023). When you receive an erotic massage, do you lie quietly, savoring the sensations? Does the masseur do most of the work? In the practice of Erotic Massage Dancing, you, the receiver, dance your sexual arousal while on a massage table. You focus attention within your own body while consciously playing with movement, breath, sound and self-touch. You also guide the massage, giving specific instructions throughout to the giver. In this video, we see an individual practicing Erotic Massage Dancing for the first time.
In the next two videos, Anastasia and Frans both demonstrate amazingly creative ways to manage their sexual arousal during an erotic massage.
Anastasia Becomes Her Orgasm (38 minutes, Log in to EroticMassage.com, Free access thru the end of April 2023). Destin massages his aroused lover Anastasia with patience, passion and expertise. Anastasia knows she is responsible for her own experience. Notice how she dances on the table and guides Destin’s touch. In the end, she relaxes into bliss and integration. This session was a gift that she gave to herself! Although Anastasia had never studied Erotic Massage Dancing, she knew the benefits of actively receiving an erotic massage. The scene was filmed as a love-making session between Destin and Anastasia.
Hard Cock Dancing (12 minutes, Log in to EroticMassage.com, Free access thru the end of April 2023). Frans Trepels chooses to actively receive erotic touch from Jordi Oller. Frans uses movement, breath, and sound to integrate the arousal into his body and life; he also guides Jordi’s touch. During his massage, Frans asks for prostate stimulation, especially along the sides of the prostate. Imagining the prostate as a clock, Frans asks for touch at 4 o’clock and other points along the sides of his prostate. At the end of the session, Frans “cools down” his vibrating body. He tells Jordi that the session could have gone on for hours. This video is an edit from an hour-long Erotic Massage Dancing session.
Erotic Iceman – Breathing for Sustained Sexual Arousal (15 minutes, Log in to OrgasmicYoga.com, Free access thru the end of April 2023). In The Erotic Iceman, Frans Trepels shares with us his daily practice of playing with arousal. Similar to the practice of Erotic Massage Dancing, he manages his sexual arousal using breath, movement and touch. The pace and rhythm of his breath define the five stages of Frans’ practice. Note that what Frans calls Coherent Breathing is also called Resonance Frequency Breathing. What he calls Wim Hof Breathing is more commonly called Circular Breathing or Rebirthing Breath.
To those practicing Erotic Massage Dancing
In the next year, may you experience innumerable hours of playful, sustained sexual arousal in lovemaking with partners, with yourself and with the earth. And may the sensations and aliveness you and your intimates experience during sexual arousal nourish you all into vibrant health and ecstatic well-being. – Joseph Kramer